Christmas Hope

     When the terrible tragedy of Sandy Hook Elementary first reached my ears I was sitting in a classroom of five and six year olds.  The first reports told of the unimaginable happening.  The deaths of young children in a school shooting.  My eyes traveled around the classroom taking in the children I had come to know and love. The thought of one of them.....  my brain had to shut that thought off instantly.  It was too painful.  If there is one thing that I have learned in this era of instant news, Facebook, Twitter, blogging and all the other social media/technology out there it is to wait. Wait until the emotional roller coaster has started to wind down.  For you see, if I don't there will be things that I write or say that I might regret later. Still on this day, one day before Christmas, my heart breaks for those who have buried their family or friends.

      Today I am not writing in support of new or different gun control laws.  I will not throw in my two cents worth on the need for better mental health care.  I won't speak on the many tirades and ideas that have flown around since that day occurred.  What I will do, though, is write about what God has put in my heart at this time about grief.  Mere words of mine can't describe the thoughts and feelings of those affected by this tragedy.  But I will borrow some from the famous writer C.S. Lewis, who lost his wife to cancer over fifty years ago.

     No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me . . .   
     An odd by-product of my loss is that I’m afraid of being an embarrassment to everyone I meet. At work, at the club, in the street, I see people, as they approach me, trying to make up their minds whether they’ll say something about 'it’ or not. I hate it if they do, and if they don’t . . .    
    And grief still feels like fear. Perhaps more strictly, like suspense. Or like waiting; just hanging about waiting for something to happen. It gives life a permanently provisional feeling. It doesn't seem worth starting anything. I can’t settle down. I yawn, I fidget, I smoke too much. Up till this I always had too little time. Now there is nothing but time. Almost pure time, empty successiveness . . .  

                                                                                                 A Grief Observed (1961)

     I have felt this grief that Lewis talks about but there is good news!  Christmas is all about hope.  When the Son of God, Jesus Christ, was born it gave hope to the world!  He would grow up to fulfill a plan so amazing that humans still have trouble believing!  When Jesus took on the sins of the world and died for us he gave us the hope of eternal life.  We are no longer separated from God but can live with him forever.  Grief is never easy.  But I have seen grief without hope and it seems unbearable and never ending.  The words describing God's hope are found in scripture.

     And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,"Look! Now God's dwelling place is among the people and he will dwell with them.  They will be his people and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, or mourning, or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."         Revelation 21:3-4

     It is inevitable that all of us will grieve at some point in our lives. My prayer is that you will be able through God's grace and mercy to be able to grieve with this comfort.  May you see this Christmas as a plan of hope fulfilled for all!

     Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you, he is the Messiah, the Lord.
                                                                                             Luke 2:11