Dear Lord,
I am sorry that I haven't spoken to you lately. You see, it's been really hectic the last few months. At work it has been very busy . I even had classes and committees of my own. There has been housework and extra projects and kids and pets. There have been births and deaths with emotions galore. I have been so busy, God, that I just seem to be barely fitting you in. Surely, you can see that I don't have a lot of extra time! I barely have time to go through my e-mail, Twitter, Facebook, and pin another interest. That video game I play also takes minutes away from my day. I've become short on time to read about organizing myself in 25 quick steps and solving the latest mystery novel. I even have to DVR some of my favorite television programs because there were two good things on at once and I couldn't watch them at the same time. I really wanted to read your Word but I was too exhausted after the sporting event went into overtime. Plus, I was answering a text on my cell phone while trying to sinc some music. Yes, I know there were days when I spent hours with you but that was when I thought I was running out of time. Now things are going great and I really can't spend as many hours with you when there is all this other stuff to do. It is quite necessary to do all these things according to the world. It will take hours and make me feel fulfilled. At least that's what they say. But...
I feel a little unstable...
There seems to be a sadness lurking around some days...
My relationships seem to be suffering...
I can't remember what my child said a moment ago.
Jesus, why do I fall into this trap of busyness?
I can't seem to breathe...
Help me... make me whole... bring me back to you.
Love,
Your Child
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
In the Still of the Night
I don't know about you but I have nights when I can't sleep. For the most part I can go to sleep pretty well at the beginning but there are times I wake up in the middle of the night and cannot get back into that sweet slumber. Sometimes I try to watch television or get on Facebook to see who else is awake. Occasionally, I have found another who is on in the wee hours of the morning. There are times I go back to a book I am enjoying and can't wait to read again. I even remember trying to use the music of the once new Weather Channel! Finally, I have to admit there have been nights when my brain would not shut off with worries that would bind my life. Before Spinning became a popular exercise option at many health clubs it used to be and still is what I call my brain's hyperdrive in which every bad thought, worry and self-worth bashing clouds my brain. This was always combined with the constant watch of the clock only to discover that it was ten minutes later than the last time I had checked. Add the worry of never getting back to sleep and being a wreck at school the next day!
Over time, however, God has changed and reshaped the way I use this time in the still of the night. It wouldn't be the truth to say I don't have a miserable sleepless night from time to time. But for the most part, my Lord who loves me unconditionally, has given me a better way to spend my time when it is the darkest. Over the years as my relationship with him has grown and matured I have found myself reaching for my IPhone to listen to worship and praise music on Pandora. Or I have dug into my Bible to have his loving words fill my soul. Sometimes I will get on a favorite Christian website and a devotion will touch my heart. Other times I have gotten down on my knees and prayed for relief from the pain of cancer, grief or heartbreak as the tears have streamed down my face. There are hours of time in which I have talked to God on behalf of my husband, my children, family and friends.
For you see, I have learned that in the still of the night things slow down. If I begin to focus on the things that my Savior has done for me I take the focus off myself and my relationship with Jesus grows. Here in the quiet, away from the busyness of the day, I can pour my heart out to God who knows me infinitely greater than anyone else I know. For he knit me in the womb and knows my every thought. Here, instead of the roar of the hurricane, I can be in the eye. The calm place where the storm of life here on earth is pushed away. The place where I can imagine I see a glimpse of heaven. It is such a sweet thought this glimpse. It lets me see my Creator and Savior. It gives me back the ones who have gone before me. It is a salve for my earthly hurts that only Jesus can give! Nothing here on earth can give us that which we search for in this sinful world. No amount of money, prestige, or honor can compare. No Internet group or Facebook friend can love you as much. No activity, addiction or job can soothe your hurts. The only answer is Him.
So now in the still of the night I try to focus on the balm of words like these.
"In you, Oh Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hands I commit my spirit, redeem me , O Lord, the God of truth." Psalm 30:1-5
"Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant; being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on a cross. Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Phillipians 2:6-11
My sweet friends, I pray that you too can find his peace in the midst of the darkness. If you are not a person who finds your yourself awake in the hours before the dawn try to carve out your own nighttime during the day. I guarantee it will be more difficult as the storm of daily life rages around you but you will never regret it. God is the same yesterday, today and and tomorrow and he he is there for you anytime day or night.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Painting the Path
We have a picture in our livingroom of a painting by Claude Monet. The painting shows a straight garden path that eventually leads to the unknown. I have looked at this picture many times and sometimes I tend to think that the path ends and a home exists behind the garden colors. Other times I have imagined that the path leads to more areas of a very extensive garden. In some cases I believe that the path leads to a great overhead arbor with vines curling their way in and around the wooden structure. Perhaps it leads to a great and wonderous fountain sending water skyward. There are many unknowns about the path and where it goes. I wonder about this garden path. For you see it reminds me very much of our lives here on earth. As we go through life there are many paths we travel. Some of them are enjoyable and some paths we'd rather not travel or just plain forget. But every day we see the path before us and just like in Monet's painting we often are not sure what exists in that shrouded area up ahead. Sometimes I long for the knowledge of what is there. I tell myself "If only I knew how this situation would work out I might be willing to put more energy into it." Or "If only I had a guarantee of my success would I travel this path." There are also times I find myself trying to travel backwards on my path wishing for the past. Still there are times that I realize I am taking slow steps and appear to be stuck in one place. Then there are those moments that I come to a halt fearing the unknown.
Perhaps you can relate to me in these life scenarios. Recently, I relearned a lesson from God. You'll notice that I said relearn because believe it or not my stiff-necked pride has taught me this lesson before but obviously I just didn't quite get it!! So, patiently, God did some reteaching. There was the possbility of our family making a move. My brain went into overdrive! It was shouting "Move over God! Let me take the reins here! I can so do this! I can run this operation!" I was on planning overload with so many options that it was exhausting! In the end it was a huge waste of time. For you see while I was painting my path with gusto he already had the plan in place. I found that even though I was asking God for his guidance I really didn't want it I just wanted my way. Perhaps you have been in this place, too?
The good news is simply this. God wants what is best for us and because he is God he knows everything. It is true. We don't know what is up ahead but he does. In his wisdom he sets us on his path and guides us. Psalm 23 is one of my favorite passages in his Word. I know many times it is used at funerals but I prefer to think of it as a living, guiding passage for us here on earth. I really like the way the New Living Translation reads:
"The Lord is my shepherd, I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by annnointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
Many times we get so wrapped up in ourselves and the world that we need to stop and take a good look at what God is telling us. Look back in your past and think about the different directions your life could have taken. Ponder how many times and ways that God has worked in your life when he said "no" or "not now". I can specifically remember another time when he said "no" to a new job and a move. Soon after this I was facing a serious disease. When I look back I thank God so much that we were not in a new place with little family or friend support. Another lesson that keeps resonating with me lately is to take each day and live it with God's glory in mind. By staying focused on this my mind has less time to revel in the unknown future. For today, my friends, remember to trust him and know that he is painting the path!
Perhaps you can relate to me in these life scenarios. Recently, I relearned a lesson from God. You'll notice that I said relearn because believe it or not my stiff-necked pride has taught me this lesson before but obviously I just didn't quite get it!! So, patiently, God did some reteaching. There was the possbility of our family making a move. My brain went into overdrive! It was shouting "Move over God! Let me take the reins here! I can so do this! I can run this operation!" I was on planning overload with so many options that it was exhausting! In the end it was a huge waste of time. For you see while I was painting my path with gusto he already had the plan in place. I found that even though I was asking God for his guidance I really didn't want it I just wanted my way. Perhaps you have been in this place, too?
The good news is simply this. God wants what is best for us and because he is God he knows everything. It is true. We don't know what is up ahead but he does. In his wisdom he sets us on his path and guides us. Psalm 23 is one of my favorite passages in his Word. I know many times it is used at funerals but I prefer to think of it as a living, guiding passage for us here on earth. I really like the way the New Living Translation reads:
"The Lord is my shepherd, I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by annnointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
Many times we get so wrapped up in ourselves and the world that we need to stop and take a good look at what God is telling us. Look back in your past and think about the different directions your life could have taken. Ponder how many times and ways that God has worked in your life when he said "no" or "not now". I can specifically remember another time when he said "no" to a new job and a move. Soon after this I was facing a serious disease. When I look back I thank God so much that we were not in a new place with little family or friend support. Another lesson that keeps resonating with me lately is to take each day and live it with God's glory in mind. By staying focused on this my mind has less time to revel in the unknown future. For today, my friends, remember to trust him and know that he is painting the path!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Like the Spring Rain
I am a huge fan of the Christian singer, Steven Curtis Chapman. I have purchased many of his CDs and now love to watch videos that people have posted online using his music. I even had the joy of seeing him live in the Kansas City area at a free concert I attended with my sister several years ago. Even though I have never met Mr. Chapman I know we have something in common. In 2008, the Chapman's young daughter Maria died in a tragic accident. I hurt for the family and wondered how they could ever get past the grief. I did not know then that a year later I would be facing the death of my oldest brother to pancreatic cancer and the loss of my father-in-law several months later.
Grief is hard to understand. Each of us deal with it in a different way. The face of grief changes. Some days it is a punch in the gut that feels like it will never go away. Other days it is a soft ache as you skim an old photo album. It is sleepless nights and hard days. Sometimes you expect it and other times it creeps up to surprise you in a memory so strong it threatens to take your breath away. It is fear when you aren't sure you can go on. It is a smell that reminds us. It is a place that makes us vulnerable and unsure of what to do next. It is a place that you are unsure of going to because the memories there are just too strong. It is personal. It causes you to question. It gives you guilt. It is anger. There is not a right or wrong way to do it. Grief overwhelms. It goes deep and is not something to "get past". It changes you forever.
There is another thing that Mr. Chapman and I have in common. Hope. It didn't make it easier but it has truly helped. In the months following the death of his daughter ideas began forming, words were written down, music began to take shape. The result were songs that have been a balm to my soul over the last year and a half. In his song, Spring is Coming, Chapman describes how his tears of grief were planted in the ground and that it felt as though winter had come". But even with this heavy heart he knows that there is the promise and hope of spring.
The words are not just alluding to the change of seasons but that we who believe Jesus has paid the ultimate sacrifice for us have been given hope. We find these these promises in Lamentations and the Psalms.
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation, he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God, he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people, pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:5-8
But your winter days can change with God's help. As we move from this season of winter into the coming spring think of these words:
"Let us acknowledge the Lord, let us press on to acknowledge him, As surely as the sun rises he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth." Hosea 6:3
God promises to stand with us in the pain and suffering of this life if we look to him. He promises to change those dark, winter days of our grief to a more bearable day of warmth. So, my friends, let God help you through these dark days of life. At the end of his song Mr. Chapman has some young children join him.
Out of these ashes, beauty will rise,
Sorrow will be turned to joy,
All we hoped for soon will appear,
Out of the dark clouds, beauty will shine
All of earth and heaven rejoice
Spring is coming soon.
God is there, just as he promised, coming like the spring rain.
If you would like to listen to Steven Curtis Chapman's song Spring is Coming go to http://www.youtube.com/ and enter the title of the song and the artist's name into the search box.
Grief is hard to understand. Each of us deal with it in a different way. The face of grief changes. Some days it is a punch in the gut that feels like it will never go away. Other days it is a soft ache as you skim an old photo album. It is sleepless nights and hard days. Sometimes you expect it and other times it creeps up to surprise you in a memory so strong it threatens to take your breath away. It is fear when you aren't sure you can go on. It is a smell that reminds us. It is a place that makes us vulnerable and unsure of what to do next. It is a place that you are unsure of going to because the memories there are just too strong. It is personal. It causes you to question. It gives you guilt. It is anger. There is not a right or wrong way to do it. Grief overwhelms. It goes deep and is not something to "get past". It changes you forever.
There is another thing that Mr. Chapman and I have in common. Hope. It didn't make it easier but it has truly helped. In the months following the death of his daughter ideas began forming, words were written down, music began to take shape. The result were songs that have been a balm to my soul over the last year and a half. In his song, Spring is Coming, Chapman describes how his tears of grief were planted in the ground and that it felt as though winter had come". But even with this heavy heart he knows that there is the promise and hope of spring.
The words are not just alluding to the change of seasons but that we who believe Jesus has paid the ultimate sacrifice for us have been given hope. We find these these promises in Lamentations and the Psalms.
"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation, he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God, he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people, pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:5-8
But your winter days can change with God's help. As we move from this season of winter into the coming spring think of these words:
"Let us acknowledge the Lord, let us press on to acknowledge him, As surely as the sun rises he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth." Hosea 6:3
God promises to stand with us in the pain and suffering of this life if we look to him. He promises to change those dark, winter days of our grief to a more bearable day of warmth. So, my friends, let God help you through these dark days of life. At the end of his song Mr. Chapman has some young children join him.
Out of these ashes, beauty will rise,
Sorrow will be turned to joy,
All we hoped for soon will appear,
Out of the dark clouds, beauty will shine
All of earth and heaven rejoice
Spring is coming soon.
God is there, just as he promised, coming like the spring rain.
If you would like to listen to Steven Curtis Chapman's song Spring is Coming go to http://www.youtube.com/ and enter the title of the song and the artist's name into the search box.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
In Control
Do you ever have goals that you have wanted to meet but have fallen short? I have had quite a few of those in my life! For example, I wanted to be writing this blog at least twice a month and also to let you know how I was going to be helping those in my community. Then there is that goal that my husband and I wanted for our 25th anniversary. That trip to Europe-let me just tell you that it's not happening! Or the fact that when we moved to this house when our oldest was in kindergarten we had plans to finish the basement into bedrooms and a family room. That daughter will be turning 21 in a few days and the basement is more like a huge junk room! Now, I could become very legalistic and down on myself and spend hours wondering why some of these goals are not being met. Am I a failure? Why can't I ever do anything right? What are we doing wrong that these goals are never met? This would be a great deal of wasted time though. The fact of the matter is, well, just this-- God's plan happens!
The Bible is filled with stories of people who had thoughts, goals and dreams but the path their life took was probably not the one they had foreseen. For instance, I imagine Noah did not have "being ridiculed for building an enormous boat in backyard" as his number one goal. Or can you imagine that Abraham planned to have his first child late in life? I'm thinking he probably would not have picked to be woken up at night by a squalling baby in his later years! Then there was that guy Sampson. You know the one-muscles and strength beyond compare because of his goal of bench pressing more than any other guy in the gym. Oh, wait-- it was his hair that held the secret of his success not strength training! Finally, there is that sweet teenage girl named Mary. Her goals were probably focused on having a beautiful wedding and starting life with her new husband and then having a baby. Well, that goal didn't work out too well, did it?
I think I have told you before that I used to have a huge problem with trying to forsee the future and plan it down to the last detail. I did this to try to gain control of the situation but it never worked out very well. The fact is that I will never be in complete control of my future because God is! He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11,
" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.' "
God knows already what his plans are for us. He made these plans even before we were born! Carve out some quiet time for yourself and read Psalm 139. You won't be disappointed! We can rest in the assurance given by the psalmist that God is in control. He loves us so much that our plan was made even before time began. He knows us inside and out! Though the waves of life crash around us and threaten to drown us, God is there with his plan! We may not always understand it or agree with it. We may question the methods. We may want to run the opposite direction! However, let me put your mind at ease. God's way is always the best way!
The Bible is filled with stories of people who had thoughts, goals and dreams but the path their life took was probably not the one they had foreseen. For instance, I imagine Noah did not have "being ridiculed for building an enormous boat in backyard" as his number one goal. Or can you imagine that Abraham planned to have his first child late in life? I'm thinking he probably would not have picked to be woken up at night by a squalling baby in his later years! Then there was that guy Sampson. You know the one-muscles and strength beyond compare because of his goal of bench pressing more than any other guy in the gym. Oh, wait-- it was his hair that held the secret of his success not strength training! Finally, there is that sweet teenage girl named Mary. Her goals were probably focused on having a beautiful wedding and starting life with her new husband and then having a baby. Well, that goal didn't work out too well, did it?
I think I have told you before that I used to have a huge problem with trying to forsee the future and plan it down to the last detail. I did this to try to gain control of the situation but it never worked out very well. The fact is that I will never be in complete control of my future because God is! He tells us in Jeremiah 29:11,
" 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.' "
God knows already what his plans are for us. He made these plans even before we were born! Carve out some quiet time for yourself and read Psalm 139. You won't be disappointed! We can rest in the assurance given by the psalmist that God is in control. He loves us so much that our plan was made even before time began. He knows us inside and out! Though the waves of life crash around us and threaten to drown us, God is there with his plan! We may not always understand it or agree with it. We may question the methods. We may want to run the opposite direction! However, let me put your mind at ease. God's way is always the best way!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The Least of These
Happy 2011, friends! Today I was so happy to be cleaning my house! What? I see that look of astonishment! I know you don't quite believe me but it is true! Here is my reason. I want to yell it in the valleys! I want to sing it from the mountain tops! I want everyone to know that I am so thankful today. On this day five years ago I was recovering from cancer surgery headed towards the unknown of radiation and chemotherapy. The months seemed to drag before me as I contemplated my road ahead. But this month I had my last follow-up CT scan. It was clear, gloriously clear!!!!! In the words of the Psalmist I want to declare: " I will not die but live and will proclaim what the Lord has done." Psalm 118:17 Friends, I want to praise our Lord for what he has done for me!
But now let me say this. I know there are those who are not feeling my joy of the day. Over the last few months a friend and I have been talking about the number of people out there who are really hurting. The thing is we have not been talking about a third world country or a storm ravaged neighborhood. We are talking about the people who live right here in our own town or county or ones that are close. There are broken marriages, widows in despair, young children being sexually abused, parents being laid off when the rent is not paid and the cupboards are bare. There is the father in prison. The new mother caring for a child when she is just a child herself. There are people in pain from the treatments they get. A trip to the hospital that causes a scare. There are those that depression and anxiety threaten to overcome. My list could go on and on.
For those of you who are seeing these things I give you this challenge for the new year. Read these words spoken by Jesus in Matthew 25:34-40.
"Then the king will say to those on his right, 'Come you who are blessed by my Father, take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply,
'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.' "
Spend some time pondering those words and then I ask you to pray about what God would have you do to make a difference in the lives of others. Take a look at your time and decide what you deem as "necessary" in your life. Could it be possible that these activities are not really that important after all? I will be writing in my blog later about what I feel God has led me to be doing. I would love for you to keep me updated on how God is using you to make a difference in the life of another so feel free to leave a comment!
Finally, there may be some of you who are reading this who feel you are one of those who are hurting. Let me give you some words of truth. Jesus loves you! No matter who you are, what you have done or where you are. He can make a difference in your life. If you already know Jesus be patient with him as he works through these difficulties to do amazing things in your life. Get into his Word and let him reassure and teach you! Remember he is not a genie who grants three wishes but rather a Savior who wants what is best for us. If you don't know Jesus there are two websites that can give you more information about God's son: http://www.klove.com/ and http://www.proverbs31.org/. Both websites offer great support, help and prayer. Or contact me at my e-mail address: cpreut@hotmail.com . I will be praying that God will be blessing you over and over this new year.
But now let me say this. I know there are those who are not feeling my joy of the day. Over the last few months a friend and I have been talking about the number of people out there who are really hurting. The thing is we have not been talking about a third world country or a storm ravaged neighborhood. We are talking about the people who live right here in our own town or county or ones that are close. There are broken marriages, widows in despair, young children being sexually abused, parents being laid off when the rent is not paid and the cupboards are bare. There is the father in prison. The new mother caring for a child when she is just a child herself. There are people in pain from the treatments they get. A trip to the hospital that causes a scare. There are those that depression and anxiety threaten to overcome. My list could go on and on.
For those of you who are seeing these things I give you this challenge for the new year. Read these words spoken by Jesus in Matthew 25:34-40.
"Then the king will say to those on his right, 'Come you who are blessed by my Father, take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply,
'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.' "
Spend some time pondering those words and then I ask you to pray about what God would have you do to make a difference in the lives of others. Take a look at your time and decide what you deem as "necessary" in your life. Could it be possible that these activities are not really that important after all? I will be writing in my blog later about what I feel God has led me to be doing. I would love for you to keep me updated on how God is using you to make a difference in the life of another so feel free to leave a comment!
Finally, there may be some of you who are reading this who feel you are one of those who are hurting. Let me give you some words of truth. Jesus loves you! No matter who you are, what you have done or where you are. He can make a difference in your life. If you already know Jesus be patient with him as he works through these difficulties to do amazing things in your life. Get into his Word and let him reassure and teach you! Remember he is not a genie who grants three wishes but rather a Savior who wants what is best for us. If you don't know Jesus there are two websites that can give you more information about God's son: http://www.klove.com/ and http://www.proverbs31.org/. Both websites offer great support, help and prayer. Or contact me at my e-mail address: cpreut@hotmail.com . I will be praying that God will be blessing you over and over this new year.
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