Persevere

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."  James 1:2-4


  My husband is one of those people who can get things done.  When he has a task at hand he is able to dig down deep and work hard to the end.  Me? Not so much.  I am more of a "get it started and finish it some time in the future" kind of gal.  I'm really good at taking on plenty of things but my interest wanes quickly.  I'm sure if you'd ask my husband he could tell you stories about the many projects or tasks I've started but never finished.  Or the times I've asked him to finish it for me!  What I lack is perseverance.  Don't get me wrong-I'm not saying that I never finish anything because I do.  It's just hard for me.  I try not to think about this little flaw of mine.  Let me let you in on a little secret though-God knows.  He whispers to my heart that perseverance is important to think about. 


  Do I think God is worried that I can't seem to get all the boxes in my house unpacked from a move that was two months ago?  Do I think God cares that the dishes sit in the sink while I read a book?  Does He bring this problem to my attention because I never finished a craft project that I was so excited to try?  Probably not.  But here is the problem--this lack of perseverance starts to bleed over into my relationship with Him.  I begin a bible study with delight but my attendance begins to wane.  My quiet time with Him goes almost non-existent for several months.  Troubles begin to rack up and my "get-out-of-the-boat-and-walk-faith" starts sinking faster than it started.  My intent not to worry about getting a job and paying the bills starts to fade as I get closer to my last paycheck from my previous job.  My good Christian parent modeling goes out the window along with the expletive I let loose on the driver who just cut me off.  I begin to question the truth of God's love for humanity when I see horrible things happening in the world all around me.  


  I begin to wonder what the true lack of perseverance could mean for me in my faith life.  Will it trip me up and cause me to doubt the reality of my Savior?  Will I stop believing that his death on the cross and resurrection were true?  When push comes to shove will I deny knowing him as Peter did?  Thanks be to God that he knows my every thought and fault.  Thanks be to God that he gives gentle reminders and sometimes not-so-gentle reminders that I should seek wisdom in this issue.  For, without him, I might just start the race he's set for me but never finish it.  My prayer for today is that you might see the importance of this perseverance, too.  Ask God to give you the wisdom to persevere in the race he has marked out for each and every one of us.


"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the authorand perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."  Hebrews 12:1-3
    


  

Something Beautiful

  Yesterday was my 47th birthday.  Most women cringe to announce their age as they get older.  Some of them even go as far as claiming to be 29 again!  Not true for me.  I have learned over the years to appreciate each and every birthday and to be so thankful to God for allowing me to celebrate once again.  Being thankful does not seem to come naturally for most of us, though.  We would rather groan and complain and fuss about what has gone wrong.  Or we'd rather lament about all those things that we don't have but wish we did.  Then there are some who fill their days with negative thoughts or feelings and seem to enjoy it.  I would love to say that I am one of those positive people who constantly see the good in everything and thank God for his part in it.  But, alas, I am not one of those people.  Every day I struggle falling into the trap of negativity and to be honest it is not me but God's power that brings me up out of the muck of life.

  Near our new home there is a wetland area that we drive by to get to a major shopping area of town.  Now that the Kansas heat and humidity of the summer have risen to really uncomfortable levels the largest water area of the wetlands has turned green with algae. One day I was driving past with the air conditioner blasting on high to cool down after just walking from house to car.  I was hot, grouchy and in a complaining mood when I looked at this area and thought YUCK!- that looks absolutely disgusting!  I wondered why on earth the city would keep this area protected when it was such an eyesore.  Then I saw it.  Standing in this muck on stilt legs was a bird of the most beautiful blue color I had ever seen.  I was amazed.  Then I was thankful for that bird.

  For you see, friends, that bird made me think.  Our lives on this Earth are filled with muck.  The muck of loneliness and despair.  Of hatred and murder.  Of jealousy and rage.  Of disease and war.  Of self absorption and loathing.  Of coveting and theft.  Of cynicism and unbelief.  Of fuss and complaint.  Of Sin.  We struggle in this muck of what looks disgusting and it threatens to bring us down.  But there is One who looks beyond the mess of life and has made us the beautiful blue bird.  What he did for us makes us clean and beautiful.  His death on the cross made us new.  He takes us up out of the quagmire and offers us new life.  


 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come." 
2 Corinthians 5:17


So, my friends, be thankful each day!  Celebrate each birthday with joy!  For God works every day to make you something beautiful.


Suggestions:
Feeling less than beautiful in this bog of life?  Listen to "Beautiful Things" by Gungor to be reminded that you are!

Same Story-Different Chapter

  In a small portion of my heart there is this fear.  I try to keep it hidden away and not think about it but it is always there.  Most of the time I do a great job of ignoring it but sometimes it bursts forth like a flower bud on a spring day.  Recently, on one of those warm spring days, that fear grew exponentially.  The doctor was telling my sister that the part of her pancreas that had been removed days earlier contained the same type of cancer that had taken our dear brother three years earlier. The adrenaline of fear coursed through my body as I cried out to God that I could not live this story again.  But then, I witnessed a miracle.  God turned the page and began a new and different chapter. My fear turned to hope as I heard the doctor tell us that this cancer had been found so early that it was only present in the part that had been removed- an "unheard of" precedent in the medical history of pancreas cancer.  I was in awe of what God had done. 

  I would not be honest, though, if I said that my fear is completely gone.  For you see, my dad's family carries a certain gene mutation known as Lynch Syndrome.  Over the last ten years my father and mother have seen three of their children diagnosed with three different types of cancer five different times.  I think a lot about what it means for my children and for my nephews. I wonder if I will be diagnosed again.  The news of my sister has been a lot to process and I will continue to process it over the next few weeks.  I have spent a lot of time with God asking why we even have to live this particular story.  Friends and family ask how we have gotten through it.  For me, it is my faith in Jesus. 

  I know that I cannot handle all that this world gives me.  I have to rely on him and what he has done for me.  In John 16:32-33, Jesus tells us this: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."  The Christian walk does not guarantee a life free of pain or heartbreak but it does give us a way to overcome those things.  Through Jesus I can walk away from that fear that hides in my heart about this disease.  It also helps me to remember that this is not my final destination. I love the words in a song called "Where I Belong" by the group Building 429.  The group tells about the assurance that God gives us about eternal life in heaven. This world is not the destination God intended for me and I know the world of cancer will soon pass away.  So on this day I celebrate what God has done with this different chapter in our life story.  I praise and thank him for this little bit of heaven on earth.

Sorry, Lord, No Time!

Dear Lord,
  I am sorry that I haven't spoken to you lately.  You see,  it's been really hectic the last few months.  At work it has been very busy .  I even had classes and committees of my own.  There has been housework and extra projects and kids and pets.  There have been births and deaths with emotions galore.  I have been so busy, God, that I just seem to be barely fitting you in.  Surely, you can see that I don't have a lot of extra time!  I barely have time to go through my e-mail, Twitter, Facebook, and pin another interest.  That  video game I play also takes minutes away from my day.  I've become short on time to read about organizing myself in 25 quick steps and solving the latest mystery novel.  I even have to DVR some of my favorite television programs because there were two good things on at once and I couldn't watch them at the same time.    I really wanted to read your Word but I was too exhausted after the sporting event went into overtime.  Plus, I was answering a text on my cell phone while trying to sinc some music.  Yes, I know there were days when I spent hours with you but that was when I thought I was running out of time.  Now things are going great and I really can't spend as many hours with you when there is all this other stuff to do.  It is quite necessary to do all these things according to the world.  It will take hours and make me feel fulfilled.  At least that's what they say.  But...

I feel a little unstable...

There seems to be a sadness lurking around some days...

My relationships seem to be suffering...

I can't remember what my child said a moment ago.

Jesus, why do I fall into this trap of busyness?

I can't seem to breathe...

Help me...  make me whole... bring me back to you.

Love,
Your Child



   

In the Still of the Night

I don't know about you but I have nights when I can't sleep. For the most part I can go to sleep pretty well at the beginning but there are times I wake up in the middle of the night and cannot get back into that sweet slumber. Sometimes I try to watch television or get on Facebook to see who else is awake. Occasionally, I have found another who is on in the wee hours of the morning. There are times I go back to a book I am enjoying and can't wait to read again. I even remember trying to use the music of the once new Weather Channel! Finally, I have to admit there have been nights when my brain would not shut off with worries that would bind my life. Before Spinning became a popular exercise option at many health clubs it used to be and still is what I call my brain's hyperdrive in which every bad thought, worry and self-worth bashing clouds my brain. This was always combined with the constant watch of the clock only to discover that it was ten minutes later than the last time I had checked. Add the worry of never getting back to sleep and being a wreck at school the next day!

Over time, however, God has changed and reshaped the way I use this time in the still of the night. It wouldn't be the truth to say I don't have a miserable sleepless night from time to time. But for the most part, my Lord who loves me unconditionally, has given me a better way to spend my time when it is the darkest. Over the years as my relationship with him has grown and matured I have found myself reaching for my IPhone to listen to worship and praise music on Pandora. Or I have dug into my Bible to have his loving words fill my soul. Sometimes I will get on a favorite Christian website and a devotion will touch my heart. Other times I have gotten down on my knees and prayed for relief from the pain of cancer, grief or heartbreak as the tears have streamed down my face. There are hours of time in which I have talked to God on behalf of my husband, my children, family and friends.
 

For you see, I have learned that in the still of the night things slow down. If I begin to focus on the things that my Savior has done for me I take the focus off myself and my relationship with Jesus grows. Here in the quiet, away from the busyness of the day, I can pour my heart out to God who knows me infinitely greater than anyone else I know. For he knit me in the womb and knows my every thought. Here, instead of the roar of the hurricane, I can be in the eye. The calm place where the storm of life here on earth is pushed away. The place where I can imagine I see a glimpse of heaven. It is such a sweet thought this glimpse. It lets me see my Creator and Savior. It gives me back the ones who have gone before me. It is a salve for my earthly hurts that only Jesus can give! Nothing here on earth can give us that which we search for in this sinful world. No amount of money, prestige, or honor can compare. No Internet group or Facebook friend can love you as much. No activity, addiction or job can soothe your hurts. The only answer is Him.

So now in the still of the night I try to focus on the balm of words like these.

"In you, Oh Lord, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame; deliver me in your righteousness. Turn your ear to me, come quickly to my rescue; be my rock of refuge, a strong fortress to save me. Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me. Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you are my refuge. Into your hands I commit my spirit, redeem me , O Lord, the God of truth." Psalm 30:1-5

"Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant; being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on a cross. Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Phillipians 2:6-11

 

My sweet friends, I pray that you too can find his peace in the midst of the darkness. If you are not a person who finds your yourself awake in the hours before the dawn try to carve out your own nighttime during the day. I guarantee it will be more difficult as the storm of daily life rages around you but you will never regret it. God is the same yesterday, today and and tomorrow and he he is there for you anytime day or night.

Painting the Path

We have a picture in our livingroom of a painting by Claude Monet. The painting shows a straight garden path that eventually leads to the unknown. I have looked at this picture many times and sometimes I tend to think that the path ends and a home exists behind the garden colors. Other times I have imagined that the path leads to more areas of a very extensive garden. In some cases I believe that the path leads to a great overhead arbor with vines curling their way in and around the wooden structure. Perhaps it leads to a great and wonderous fountain sending water skyward. There are many unknowns about the path and where it goes. I wonder about this garden path. For you see it reminds me very much of our lives here on earth. As we go through life there are many paths we travel. Some of them are enjoyable and some paths we'd rather not travel or just plain forget. But every day we see the path before us and just like in Monet's painting we often are not sure what exists in that shrouded area up ahead. Sometimes I long for the knowledge of what is there. I tell myself "If only I knew how this situation would work out I might be willing to put more energy into it." Or "If only I had a guarantee of my success would I travel this path." There are also times I find myself trying to travel backwards on my path wishing for the past. Still there are times that I realize I am taking slow steps and appear to be stuck in one place. Then there are those moments that I come to a halt fearing the unknown.

Perhaps you can relate to me in these life scenarios. Recently, I relearned a lesson from God. You'll notice that I said relearn because believe it or not my stiff-necked pride has taught me this lesson before but obviously I just didn't quite get it!! So, patiently, God did some reteaching. There was the possbility of our family making a move. My brain went into overdrive! It was shouting "Move over God! Let me take the reins here! I can so do this! I can run this operation!" I was on planning overload with so many options that it was exhausting! In the end it was a huge waste of time. For you see while I was painting my path with gusto he already had the plan in place. I found that even though I was asking God for his guidance I really didn't want it I just wanted my way. Perhaps you have been in this place, too?

The good news is simply this. God wants what is best for us and because he is God he knows everything. It is true. We don't know what is up ahead but he does. In his wisdom he sets us on his path and guides us. Psalm 23 is one of my favorite passages in his Word. I know many times it is used at funerals but I prefer to think of it as a living, guiding passage for us here on earth. I really like the way the New Living Translation reads:

"The Lord is my shepherd, I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by annnointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Many times we get so wrapped up in ourselves and the world that we need to stop and take a good look at what God is telling us. Look back in your past and think about the different directions your life could have taken. Ponder how many times and ways that God has worked in your life when he said "no" or "not now". I can specifically remember another time when he said "no" to a new job and a move. Soon after this I was facing a serious disease. When I look back I thank God so much that we were not in a new place with little family or friend support. Another lesson that keeps resonating with me lately is to take each day and live it with God's glory in mind. By staying focused on this my mind has less time to revel in the unknown future. For today, my friends, remember to trust him and know that he is painting the path!

Like the Spring Rain

I am a huge fan of the Christian singer, Steven Curtis Chapman. I have purchased many of his CDs and now love to watch videos that people have posted online using his music. I even had the joy of seeing him live in the Kansas City area at a free concert I attended with my sister several years ago. Even though I have never met Mr. Chapman I know we have something in common. In 2008, the Chapman's young daughter Maria died in a tragic accident. I hurt for the family and wondered how they could ever get past the grief. I did not know then that a year later I would be facing the death of my oldest brother to pancreatic cancer and the loss of my father-in-law several months later.
Grief is hard to understand. Each of us deal with it in a different way. The face of grief changes. Some days it is a punch in the gut that feels like it will never go away. Other days it is a soft ache as you skim an old photo album. It is sleepless nights and hard days. Sometimes you expect it and other times it creeps up to surprise you in a memory so strong it threatens to take your breath away. It is fear when you aren't sure you can go on. It is a smell that reminds us. It is a place that makes us vulnerable and unsure of what to do next. It is a place that you are unsure of going to because the memories there are just too strong. It is personal. It causes you to question. It gives you guilt. It is anger. There is not a right or wrong way to do it. Grief overwhelms. It goes deep and is not something to "get past". It changes you forever.
There is another thing that Mr. Chapman and I have in common. Hope. It didn't make it easier but it has truly helped. In the months following the death of his daughter ideas began forming, words were written down, music began to take shape. The result were songs that have been a balm to my soul over the last year and a half. In his song, Spring is Coming, Chapman describes how his tears of grief were planted in the ground and that it felt as though winter had come". But even with this heavy heart he knows that there is the promise and hope of spring.
The words are not just alluding to the change of seasons but that we who believe Jesus has paid the ultimate sacrifice for us have been given hope. We find these these promises in Lamentations and the Psalms.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation, he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God, he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people, pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:5-8


But your winter days can change with God's help. As we move from this season of winter into the coming spring think of these words:

"Let us acknowledge the Lord, let us press on to acknowledge him, As surely as the sun rises he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth." Hosea 6:3

God promises to stand with us in the pain and suffering of this life if we look to him. He promises to change those dark, winter days of our grief to a more bearable day of warmth. So, my friends, let God help you through these dark days of life. At the end of his song Mr. Chapman has some young children join him.

Out of these ashes, beauty will rise,
Sorrow will be turned to joy,
All we hoped for soon will appear,
Out of the dark clouds, beauty will shine
All of earth and heaven rejoice
Spring is coming soon.

God is there, just as he promised, coming like the spring rain.


If you would like to listen to Steven Curtis Chapman's song Spring is Coming go to http://www.youtube.com/ and enter the title of the song and the artist's name into the search box.