Today I did something that I did not want to do. I went to view my brother's headstone. It had been placed last week and although I wanted to see it I hesitated to go there. I knew going would bring sadness to my heart. However, today on a beautiful spring day I made the journey. When I saw the name "Watson" on the stone, the tears began to fall. The stone is beautiful-a testament of the love my sister-in-law has for my brother. On Thursday, my brother will have been gone for nine months. His illness and death from cancer has been the most challenging trial to my faith.
There are no words to explain how this grief feels. I've asked the question "Why?". I prayed for his life to be spared. My dreams often include him. Some days I still can't believe it is possible. His picture can cause me happiness or sobs that start deep inside. I share his story with others in a hope that it will help me heal. Memories will pop up at the most inopportune times and I will struggle to keep it together. My thoughts go frequently to his wife and boys and the unimaginable pain that they have been through. I call my parents frequently to make sure that it does not overwhelm them. I see his face the last time I said goodbye. How can this be?
There is only one way that I have gotten through this. God's promise of eternal life is my hope. Because I believe Jesus is my savior I will see my brother again! We will be reunited in heaven. Death is not the end!
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
Revelation 21:4
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